Journal: the random journaler

I can't seem to find my groove for journaling regularly.  So since it's been awhile and I'm enjoying a glass of wine while my hubby cooks dinner (I know, right?)...

TODAY

Out my window:  Sunny, windy and warm.  We've had some nicer Fall-like weather though, and more is in store.  YAY!

Clothing myself in:  Gray capri sweats and and a stripey T.  I finally made up my mind on casual-ish Fall/winter shoes and bought a pair of Sperrys today.  I am nerdily excited about them.  I wanted something that was nicer than tennies but would still go with what I wear most of the time during winter (jeans + hoodie) but would go with jeans and and a nicer top as well.  And I wanted something that was actual real leather and would last more than one season.  I think these will fit the bill just fine.

Around the house:  Cleaning out some more, I have another tub of toys to get rid of.  Toys are overrated, I swear the less we have out the better my kids play.  For real.  Maybe it's just my kids...  We had our bid done on the kitchen and are about a month out from the project being done.  So excited!!  Got Fall/Winter clothes out/washed/hung for the kids.  We are good to go for the most part.  I'm sure we'll pick up a few more odds and ends here and there, but they won't freeze should we have a cold snap.

 

The baby: Getting so big.  He wants to be just like the big kids, it is so crazy.  Pretty soon I am going to need to start referring to him as "the toddler".  When did that happen?  Still pretty iffy with his naps but we've settled into a decent groove so I've made peace with his seeming lack of day sleep.  He says the words "here" (when handing you something) and "yeah" when he wants to do something you ask.  Or so it seems.    

The kiddos:

GEMMA is my vocab girl lately.  She asks me numerous times a day what various words mean.  So curious!  I went and had lunch with her at school the other day and oh my did that ever fill that little girl's love-tank to overflowing.  I want to do it again soon, but infrequently enough that it is still very special for her.  It was fun seeing her in her element, and sent me quite a wave of gratefulness for our Catholic school and the environment in which she spends her days (mornings).

KOLBE  is my critter kid.  He would catch bugs, frogs, and other creepy-crawlies all day if left to his own devices.  Speech is going well for him, he is progressing well (in practice, not so much in conversation) and really seems to enjoy going each week. 

In the kitchen: Smoked sausage and chicken with Kale and Quinoa salad and steamed broccoli tonite.  Other than that this week we've had some Mexican Pulled Chicken Stuffed Peppers (my in-laws have had an over-abundance of peppers); Tacos with fixins; baked salmon, rice and green beans; and Chile Rellenos on the menu tomorrow night.  Parish picnic this weekend so I need to make a side-dish for that.

Crafting: Does decluttering count?  We'll go with that.

Learning:  I am really enjoying Kolbe's Letter of the Week activities and so is he.  It is such a good fit for us this year.  I really appreciate the ease this program provides in planning.  I have just quit looking for other things to do otherwise I spend all my time on the internet planning and ignoring the kids...and...well, yeah, you can see how well that would work out.  I also really like doing letter of the week because I have a whole bunch of books tagged at the library for each letter and it really gets us checking out some good reads!  Which is always a good thing!!  Sometimes we work on preschool for awhile (15-30 minute) in the morning, and some days we do things while I supervise Gemma's homework.  One day a week we are doing a co-op (at our home) with 2-3 other kids about Kolbe's age and that has really been a lot of fun.

Reading: Still working on The New Evangelization and You.  I like it, like, not in a super "rave about it" way, but it is good nevertheless.  Glad I'm reading it.  About to finish Schoolroom in the Parlor with Gemma.

Watching:  meh

Bringing me joy: Lunch date with Gemma.  New shoes (lame).  Autumn...slanty light and crock pot dinners and darker evenings and sprouting grass and changing leaves and all that other good Fall stuff.  Just chilling out and playing with the kids. 

Thinking about: The New Evangelization and how I can practice evangelization without being over-the-top or in-your-face about the Faith that I love and am striving to continue to know more about.

Pictures to share:  

Brothers

Yes.  He honest to goodness fell asleep like this.  As his godmother commented, the shopping cart really has amazing head and neck support.  Apparently. 

Excited on the day she got to bring her blankie to school in the "special item bag"!

Food for Thought: "praise" rant

I think I have a problem with reading articles about parenting...

oh well.

The whole "praise" thing (thread)

and Five Reasons to Stop Saying "Good Job" (article)

I am still wrapping my mind around the whole "praise" thing.  I will say, I think "good job" is the most over-said phrase in the world and I almost cringe when I hear it now.  I started noticing this six or so months ago, about the time I read Unconditional Parenting, and caught myself telling Kolbe "good job" for things like going up the stairs or turning on a light switch.  For real, it hit me like a ton of bricks one day - I remember the exact moment (weird) - I just told my son "good job".  For turning off a light.  Come. On.  Since then I have thought a lot about the message that my words and reactions convey to my children.  I don't completely agree with Kohn's (book and article author) analysis on praise (check the book out, it really is an interesting read or take a look at Kansas Mom's Book Discussion) and I'm not going to say that I think one should completely withhold all types of praise from kids, especially since some people (kids included) really thrive on words of affirmation.  That said though, I think we need to help our children internalize their successes more, so that as they grow they do things (whether it is behavior, athletics, grades or job performance) because they are motivated internally, not externally.  But honestly, now that I have begun noticing the whole "good job" thing more, it just comes across as really disingenuous, intentionally or otherwise, when I hear people say "good job" because their kid stacked two blocks, went down the slide or turned off a light (blush).  And that's not to say I don't show enthusiasm for things my kids do, but I try to do it in a way that keeps their attention on what they just did, and not my reaction.  Does that make sense?  When Gemma goes across the monkey bars by herself, instead of automatically yelling "GOOD JOB," I find a simple high five or saying, "you did it!" tend to be much more appropriate, and in turn cause her to internalize her success rather than looking to me for affirmation (or the opposite) every time she does (or does not do) something.  If Gemma picks up the room for me or puts some laundry away or sets the table, rather than saying "good job _____," I simply say, "thank you. I appreciate your helpfulness."  If the kids stay close in the parking lot instead of running around like crazy banshees who want to send their mother to an early grave, I tell them that I am glad they remembered appropriate parking lot behavior and we move on pretty matter-of-factly.  I guess I just don't 100% buy into the whole 'positive reinforcement' thing (which I won't get started on because this novel may turn into a series at that rate).  Above all, I just try to be genuine and authentic with my children, like I would with another adult.  I mean, I don't go around telling Aaron "good job" every time he goes to work or cooks a tasty meal or fixes the toilet paper hanger for the zillionth time.  I certainly let him know that we appreciate him and all he does for us, but "good job" is not the first phrase that pops in my head when talking with an adult, so why should it be with my kids?  Maybe it's all semantics. I don't know.  Thoughts?  Comments??  I really would appreciate some engaging discussion on this one, because I've been thinking about it a lot lately.

How to Fix your Child's Attitude - This was so. good.  Read it.

The Sweet Spot between Permissive and Strict - I liked this a lot.  It really helped me mentally hash out my feelings on the subject of strictness vs. permissiveness more articulately than many of the things I've read of late. I really liked the distinction it gave between authoritative and authoritarian and the nifty chart explaining it all.  Maybe I'm just a chart nerd though.  These thoughts on consequences/punishments vs. natural consequences provoked some good thought as well.

And lest you think all I do is sit around eating dark chocolate and drinking wine (oh wait...) and reading parenting articles all day, this one on authentic Catholic charity was really good. 

Also, be sure to check out Erika's Food-for-Thought sometime this weekend, she will be posting a delightful article about Whole Foods.  Trust me.  You don't want to miss it.

Journal: critters

TODAY

Out my window:  Dark, thunder rumbles and a bit of rain as I begin typing this.  Still pretty warm 10-day forecast though for mid-September, but it is definitely starting to a feel a little more Autumn-like.  The light is slantier, the heat is less intense.  We've been spending lots of time outdoors recently.

Clothing myself in:  I am SOOOO ready for jeans and sweats weather.  I know I will be griping as soon as it gets cold, but I am soooo ready for a change! 

Around the house: Let's see...I have been selling a few items via a local Facebook page and had pretty good success with that.  Great/easy way to make a little extra cash as you clean out your house, and much easier than a garage sale (which I refuse to do).  What else...  We took the middle seat out of our van and moved Gemma to the back.  I am a little sad not to have all my babies together in the middle, but it was probably time.  It seems so much roomier in there now, and will be easier if we want other people to ride somewhere with us.  Oh, and Aaron killed a black widow by the front porch.  This is the 4th one we've had on our property in the past couple years.  Shudder shudder shudder.

 

The baby: Oh he is so cute.  I just love watching him explore the world around him.  He walks more than he crawls now.  He signs "milk" when he is thirsty or wants to nurse.  After about 5pm he just wants to be held.  This has made dinner prep very interesting.  I should put him on my back more.  He has been going to bed really early(before 7 most nights, gets up around 6:30 (sometimes earlier, he gets really restless around 5:30 and it's always iffy whether I can settle him back to sleep).  He only naps an hour or give-or-take most days, he just gets disturbed so easily.  Sigh, it works.  I knew this would be troubling when we started kdg.  We're rolling with it.  I also packed away his 12 month stuff (I looked at him one day and realized how small his clothes looked!!) and got some 18 month stuff out.  I really appreciated being able to go "shop" in my basement.  This is the first time we've really used a lot of hand-me-downs and it is FANtastic!!  Oh oh oh, and he has pooped on the potty-chair two days in a row now!  I just caught him starting to poop one day and took him back there, and he did great!  Hopefully I can watch him and we can start making this a regular occurrence.  I would much rather wash poop out of the little potty than a diaper!

 

The kiddos:

KOLBE loves bugs and other critters.  He loves catching butterflies, moths, grasshoppers, caterpillars, frogs... you name it and putting them in a little jar or bucket.  He will spend 30-45 minutes+ doing this.  He can make the final |p| sound consistently now when we work on his listen words and flashcards from his speech teacher.

GEMMA has been struggling lately with being a bit aggressive and angry and just generally very emotional.  I want to help her but she just gets angry when I try to help and lashes out worse.  I am a work in progress though with my patience as well, so hopefully the more I can model more self-control and healthily dealing with my anger the easier it will be for her to learn appropriate ways to deal with her big emotions.  I know she has yet to reach the age of reason, but even so it is very frustrating to me when she gets so angry that there is just no rationalizing with her.  Now I'm ranting.  Last week was "going buggy" week in kindergarten, so she brought a cicada (that flew into our garage and daddy caught), a grasshopper and a picture of the monarch she caught (and released) at a local nature park recently.  This week she gets to bring a special item in the "very special item bag".  I think she has decided on her blankie.

This weekend the neighbors were puppy-sitting for some expensive little lap-dog that bounced when it barked and all three kids had a BLAST playing with "Samba" in the yard several times.  It was cute, and I was really glad no one sat on, kicked, smooshed or otherwise broke the $2000 (yes, for real) designer-dog.      

In the kitchen: We had friends over and grilled some KC strip steaks we'd been aging in the fridge this weekend and they were ahhhhhhhhmazing!  We're a little beefed out though now, so this week is Sesame Chicken with Fried Rice and broccoli; breakfast casserole; pizza (probably chicken); and some sort of seafood.  We've been having some tasty fresh honey-dews lately too, plus whatever other fresh fruits and veggies happen to make their way thru the fridge. 

Crafting: Hmm...nope.  Nada.

Learning:  Getting ready for Dd week.  Preschooling Kolbe is definitely different than it was with Gemma but we are having a lot of fun.  He has been really enjoying being read to lately.  He found a book about a robot at the library (he is currently obsessed with "o-bots") and we have read it many, many times.  Gemma usually has a math WS for homework, and she is not a huge fan of homework some days so I have not been doing a lot extra with her, although I have been trying to squeeze some handwriting in (on the 3-lined paper) when she is amenable. 

Reading: Still working on The New Evangelization and You: Be Not Afraid.  I like it.

Watching: Not much.  

Bringing me joy: Our neighbors.  We have the greatest neighbors, I just can't get over it.  I have no idea how we got so lucky.  For real.  Watching Clem, he is sooooooo cute.  Working out (!!!!!!!!!) for the first time in mumble, mumble, mumble, years.  Aaron got me a 20lb weight vest and I wore it for some lunges and brisk walking and even a little jogging. Hoping to do this twice weekly. Hummingbirds at the feeder and how excited the kids get to see them.  Gemma's songs she makes up.  The kids playing and having fun together (it does happen sometimes!).  Enjoying the outdoors with my family on a lazy Sunday with not much to do.

Thinking about: Finding a regular time to work out.  Being more disciplined.  Balance.  Stewardship.  Parenting.  The usuals.

Pictures to share:  

Gemma with her butterfly.

Kolbe, the bug-catching extraordinaire.  

Clem's new ride.

Food for Thought: First Half of September

My tabs are very full...time to unload.

Topic: Parenting
Aggression: Why Children Lash Out and What to Do - Some good tidbits here.  Gemma has been very aggressive lately, and I know part of the problem is me.  OH parenting is hard.  Patience, love, charity, kindness.  Patience, love, charity, kindness.  Patience, love, charity, kindness. Repeat repeat repeat.

Confident Parenting - Some good thoughts here too.  I find it hard, often, to not be smug and judge-y.  This is a good perspective. 

And some thoughts on getting inside the head of your toddler.  I especially liked the first part of the article.

The Battle of the Wills: Can I have a Do-over? - I had to look back and make sure I didn't write this one.  Especially the part about my first child's eating habits.

30 Ways it's Become Painfully Obvious that You're a Mom - This was a fun, fast read.  And sadly, very true.

Topic: Education
Common Core Commotion - The more I learn about CC the less alarmed I am about it being implemented in our Catholic schools, especially in our diocese.  It's standards, people, not a nationalized curriculum.  As with everything, it's definitely something to keep an eye on, but my "freak out meter" continues to go down the more I read, learn and observe.  I am not a huge fan of the government's involvement in our Catholic schools, but that is a big battle that I am not equipped to fight right now.  I will pray and trust.

Topic: Church
Is Pope Francis About to Eliminate Celibacy? - Is it just me, or is the media going crazier about everything our current Pope says more than ever?  Really people...what gives?!  And in answer to the question, no not in the foreseeable future, but he could.

Reflections on tomorrow's readings

Fun "Salt Cross" craft for kids on the Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross (today).

Topic: If your toddler needs a laugh
The Muppets: Ode to Joy (turn the volume up)

Journal: Yes. I have a problem.

TODAY

Out my window:  Sunny and hot.  And you should see the forecast.  Autumn seems to be following suit with the late Spring we had.  Ready for some cooler temps, especially those nights when it gets down to the 50's or 60's.

Clothing myself in:  Grey capri shorts and a purple-ish t-shirt from Old Navy.  I just ordered three t-shirts after agonizing all summer over whether to get more (I had ordered one in the spring that I really liked).  They cost $6 a piece.  Over-analyze much?  The sad thing is, after I got them I realized that two of them were the same color as t-shirts I already have.  And here I was so proud of myself for not ordering black or grey.  Yes.  I have a problem.  

Around the house: Did some cleaning and rearranging in the storage room.  As my dear patient husband said when I thanked him for baby-wrangling while I worked, "well hon, sometimes it's just important for a person to, um, organize things."  Thank you honey.  Yes.  I have a problem.  It is so much nicer in there though.  We still have a bunch of stuff we got for our wedding that we don't use but I'm not convinced we need to part with YET (namely some fancier dishes and bowls and stuff I've an inkling we may use some day down the road), so I put a bunch of that stuff and some of our seasonal home decor into rubbermaid tubs and labeled them!! and then just reorganized the shelves a bit. We have build-ins that seem to have been made for rubbermaid tubs (they were here when we bought the house) so this is super handy.  I also put our Fall decoration out.  No, I did not forget the plural on that.  We have one little decorative thing that I put on our mantle for Fall.  I tried a little pumpkin on an end table but it was like a baby magnet, so not so much.  

OH, and I sold a large item we had been wanting to get rid of on a Facebook group, and (impulsively, OMgoodness) bought a like-new Peg Perego Pliko 3 stroller on the same group.  It was $50, which was what I sold our other item for, so it essentially ended up being an even trade.  Our umbrella stroller was getting pretty rough, so I'd kind of been starting to look around.  This is bigger than an umbrella but smaller than a travel system, and it has tall handles (cue heavenly chorus) and a place for a toddler to stand on the back.  The jury is still out until I use it more whether this was a good purchase or not, but since it was essentially an even trade I'm not terribly worried.  Still, the feeling I had after making a decision and buying this all in under an hour was an incredibly strange sensation.  I do not ever EVER do things like that.     

 

The baby: OH he is a handful.  Especially at Mass.  Mass with the baby (toddler?) is scary stuff.  He is walking more than he crawls now, I put him in a pair of shoes for the first time yesterday.  He signs "milk" (which means he wants to nurse or just wants a drink of water), "more" (only occasionally will he do this) and "all done" (usually accompanied by throwing food on the floor).  He sounds like he may be trying to say a few words.  He makes a barking sound for the dog.  He says what sounds like "yeah" when you ask him if he wants to do something.  His sleep is mediocre on good days.  Poor kid, I can't snuggle with him in the mornings anymore since Gemma has to get up for school, and he is constantly either falling asleep in the car, or getting woken from a nap when we go get Gemma from school.  Sigh.  Yeah, I'm OCD about sleep too.  Altogether now, "yes, she has a problem." 

 

The kiddos:

Gemma is really settling into school quite well.  She is happy when she goes in, happy when she comes out, and I get the impression she enjoys being there.  Getting up early is rough on her, and she is kind of a grump in the morning when she first gets up, especially before she gets some breakfast in her.  She still struggles with meltdowns quite a bit (at home) but I am slowly learning (slowly slowly slowly) how to best help her through her (verrrry strong) emotions.  She is a lot like me, and, well, see title.  Anyways...  Friday afternoons have been particularly painful the past couple weeks, I think she is probably just beat from a week at school and she has a tough time keeping it together.  OH my emotional, strong-willed girl.  She is missing both front teeth now  

Kolbe started speech therapy at our local school district this week.  We have been working on final |p| this week and he actually got it on a few of his words on Friday!!  But hasn't since.  I am sure he will continue to slowly progress though and I'm so glad we have this opportunity for him.  Sometimes I say things that aren't very nice about the public schools, and while I still feel like Catholic schools are the best place for our kids, having him receive services from the public schools has humbled me a bit and made me grateful we have available these services that our tax dollars are funding.

In the kitchen: I made a homemade pizza last night.  Spaghetti this week and chicken tostadas and baked fish with whatever fresh (or frozen) fruits and veggies we have on hand for sides.  I am getting quite the stockpile of mashed bananas in the freezer and I really need to do something with them as well.

Crafting:  Hmmmm, nothing currently.  Gemma is making an owl with a paper bag as I type this though, so we'll go with that. 

Learning: Last week was Bb week, and this week is Cc.  Kolbe is still enjoying preschool, although his attention span isn't quite what Gemma's was at that age (she would have happily done projects and school-related things all day long had I been able to do them with her continuously), but he still really likes the things we do, and asks about them every morning.  One day a week we are doing a little co-op with a few boys his age and that has been really fun too!  Gemma has homework just about every day so I don't plan a whole lot for her anymore, but I did make her a handwriting sheet to practice upper and lowercase letters on the paper she uses at school and was pleased with her copywork.  I think I will continue to use the HWT Get Set for School book with our preschoolers, but after that we'll switch to the regular writing paper they use in the schools.

Reading:  The New Evangelization and You: Be Not Afraid

Watching: We have caught bits and pieces of a Ken Burns documentary on the National Parks on public television, and that's been pretty interesting.  Other than that, nothing of note.  Some baseball, some football.  

Bringing me joy: Spending time with my out of town uncle (yes, you) especially having him over for dinner.  Kolbe...I can feel very frustrated with his three-year-old antics, and then he will throw his arms around my neck and tell me how he loves me and that I'm the best mommy ever.  Makes it hard to stay angry.  Baby Clem snuggles.  A date-night out with my hubby at the local Catholic retreat center.  A shopping date with Gemma.  Tangent, she is turning into quite the little shopper since we started allowance with her.  So far everything she has purchased has been pony related.  ;-)  But she will buy something, and then usually at that point decide the next thing she wants to buy and save for it.  This time it was a pony coloring/sticker book.  Next up is Pinkie Pie.  OH ponies.  Hmmm, joy... organizing things (is that sad?).  Our school schedule.  The fact that Gemma's school time is spent in a Catholic environment...hearing her talk about how they prayed about this, or Father visited their classroom for that, or like Friday when she brought home a beautiful Mary prayer card with a vocation prayer on the back from her teacher.  Seeing religion papers in with the Math and Phonics ones.  I am so grateful that when she is not with her family she is in a Catholic environment.  OK.  Enough.

Thinking about:  Lots of things...immigration, tithing, demographics, fairness, justice.  Lots of stuff that I won't hash out here now but has been on my mind nevertheless.  And parenting.  Trying to help Gemma...she is so much like me that I really have a lot of insight into what makes her tick and why she acts the way she does.  Even so, my patience level for her is sometime (often?), um, very low.  I am trying.  I am failing a lot, but I am trying.  The further down the road I am going on this parenting journey, the more I am seeing the importance of a good, loving, respectful, connected relationship with your kids above everything else.  Trying to achieve and maintain this...to treat them with dignity and love even when I feel like my head is going to explode.  OH my...

Pictures to share:  

Dress-up fun!

Gemma's fox costume she made

New dress up clothes (Gemma got some hand-me-down fancy dresses, so I picked Kolbe up a few jerseys at the Goodwill so he didn't have to dress up like a princess)

"Crowns" for the Queenship of Mary (a couple weeks ago)