Food-for-Thought round-up (August 2)

There is no rhyme or reason to the order (or lack-thereof) this week.  Apologies.  They're still good articles.  

Bringing the Liturgy Back to the Real Vatican II - This article gave me real hope, something that sadly I feel at times I've lost in regards to the Sacred Liturgy.  Some quotes I liked:

Young people are going back now and studying both the texts of the Second Ecumenical Vatican Council with its serious texts on liturgical theology which remain valid also today. They’re studying the rites as they were celebrated, striving to understand the meaning and various elements of the rite and there’s a great enthusiasm for that and a great interest in it. All of it, I believe, is directed to a more intense experience of God’s presence with us through the sacred liturgy. That transcendent element was most sadly lost when the reform after the Council was, so to speak, side-tracked and manipulated for other purposes – that sense of transcendence of Christ’s action through the sacraments.

and especially

There’s no question in my mind that the abuses in the sacred liturgy, reduction of the sacred liturgy to some kind of human activity, is strictly correlated with a lot of moral corruption and with a levity in catechesis that has been shocking and has left generations of Catholics ill prepared to deal with the challenges of our time by addressing the Catholic faith to those challenges. You can see it in the whole gamut of Church life.

Finding Happiness Where You Least Expect It - What a powerful message.

If happiness cannot be found in material possessions, where can it be found? The answer is: we find happiness where we least expect it—in self-denial. This is not a piece of wisdom that is easily learned and lived, because it is so paradoxical. Who, without being told, would ever imagine that denying oneself would bring happiness? ...  Denial of self prepares us for disappointments from others: “Contradictions from others will hurt us less when we have first contradicted ourselves. The hand that is calloused will not pain as much as a soft hand, on catching a hard ball. Contradictions can even be assimilated and used for further taming of our own errant impulses.”

Age Appropriate Bedtimes for Kids - Liked this, and agreed mostly.  Was relieved to see that my kids are hitting about right for hours slept.  Bedtimes are a little later around here than what this suggested, especially for the baby (usually 8 give or take) but they will probably get earlier once school starts.  Although whew, it is hard with a hubby who works a little later and wanting to sit down and eat dinner all together.  And I just can't do staggered bedtimes at this point, besides with the baby, he goes to bed when he's ready to sleep which sometimes coincides with the big kids and sometimes is earlier or later.  Kolbe probably gets a little less sleep than he needs sometimes since he doesn't nap, but all in all I feel like my kids are generally well-rested.  

My husband is not my soul mate - This title really piqued my interest when I saw someone post in on Facebook, and she brings up some really good points Aaron and I have actually discussed before.  This whole idea that God has one person chosen for you and you magically end up with that person and fall in love and live happily ever after, etc. etc. blah blah, you know the story.  At the end of the day (especially a really rough one) sometimes you have to choose to love.  And sure, I look back and I see God's hand in every aspect of the road that led me to my vocation, absolutely! But this romanticized idea that it was all completely beyond my control and I have nothing more than the cosmos to thank for my husband falling in my lap.  Well...  She says it better, a few quotes I liked:

A husband is not only not a biblical promise, it is also not a specific element of God’s “plan for my life.” God’s plan is for us to be made more holy, more like Christ… not marry a certain person.

There is no biblical basis to indicate that God has one soul mate for you to find and marry. You could have a great marriage with any number of compatible people. There is no ONE PERSON for you. But once you marry someone, that person becomes your one person.

This is profoundly unromantic advice. We love to hear of people who “just can’t help who they love,” or people who “fall in love,” or “find the one person meant for them.”  Even within the Christian circle, we love to talk about how God “had someone” for someone else for all of time. But what happens to these people when the unstoppable and uncontrollable force that prompted them to start loving, lets them stop loving, or love someone else?   What happens is a world where most marriages end in divorce, and even those that don’t are often unhappy.  My marriage is not based on a set of choices over which I had no control. It is based on a daily choice to love this man, this husband that I chose out of many people that I could have chosen to love (in theory, don’t imagine that many others were lined up and knocking at the door). He is not some illusive soul mate, not some divine fullfulment, not some perfect step on the rigorously laid out but of so secret “Plan for My Life.”

 Seriously though, I think I've quoted about three-quarters of the article.  Just go read it.

How I Avoided and Got Rid of GBS - I was GBS+ with my third pregnancy, and after seriously weighing the risks/benefits, we ended up going ahead and doing a round of IV antibiotics before Clem was born (they actually only had time to get one round in, I guess two 4 hours apart is preferable).  I was not thrilled about doing this, for my gut or his, but it seemed to be the best decision for us at the time.  At any rate though, several of these protocols are things we already do so I am definitely interested in trying to avoid being GBS+ next go around (no that is not in any way shape or form an announcement), as once you are positive your chance of being positive with subsequent pregnancies is pretty good.   I think I would scale back on the Vitamin C by about 1000mg (as per hubby's recommendation), but I think it's worth a try.

15 things You Should Give Up To Be a Happy Parent - This was just a good reminder.

What Pope Francis Really Said About Gays - Sigh.  The media.  

Kate used no painkillers during birth - I really didn't want to get sucked in.  I tried so hard to turn the other way.  But alas...I've only read two articles though, so I only just got a little sucked in.  But this was great!  Props, Kate!

First Steps: A Stay-at-home Mother Faces Letting Go - **Sniff**  Oh Gemma. This made me tear up a little as we approach the beginning of the school years for Gemma.  We are ready for this step, I am confident, but I still feel emotional about it.  Oh life.  I liked this the best:

It all snuck up on me but here we are. After four and a half years of holding her close, it is time to slowly begin to let go. A bittersweet process that will last the rest of our lives.  I hope that she never forgets the love and the fun and the magic in our first four years together...even if the details grow fuzzy in time.

 I don't know this blogger, but this post definitely struck a chord with me right about now.

Food-for-Thought round-up: July 21

Some good thoughts (that I could use to read daily, or maybe hourly) on self-control:

• The Freedom of Self Mastery - "But I still struggle.  Four active young children, a nursing baby, and a full household to manage often makes it difficult to convince my body to do the will of my spirit."  Yup, that is one of my hugest struggles lately too, the discipline to get. out. of. bed. in the morning.  I used to be such a morning person, and lately I have so many excuses.  Accountability here...6:30 every morning this week.  Ask me how I'm doing.
  
• What to Do When You May or May Not be a Control Freak - " Every impulse to seize control — is the Holy Spirit’s invitation to practice self-control.  Every nerve jolt to freak out, melt down, start yelling, fly into rage or panic is a divine cue to slow down, breathe deep, start praying, and lean into God.  Every instinct to control something is God’s nudge to control myself."
  
• And sort of along that vein, Don't Squash My Emotions.  If you don't read the whole thing, at least read the first paragraph.

Moving on...

Emotion begets emotion. When our friends are happy or sad, we feel happy or sad. Maybe we feel twinges of tears during tissue commercials, or serious anxiety while watching contentious political debates. Being in the room with an angry individual, especially a loud angry person with big aggressive movements, can (and should) cause anxiety or mirrored anger. And parenting is no different. We come face to face with our children’s mostly raw, unhinged, loud and pure emotion once, twice or a hundred times a day. - See more at: http://coreparentingpdx.com/2013/dont-squash-my-emotions/#sthash.Q1y9w2Us.dpu

Emotion begets emotion. When our friends are happy or sad, we feel happy or sad. Maybe we feel twinges of tears during tissue commercials, or serious anxiety while watching contentious political debates. Being in the room with an angry individual, especially a loud angry person with big aggressive movements, can (and should) cause anxiety or mirrored anger. And parenting is no different. We come face to face with our children’s mostly raw, unhinged, loud and pure emotion once, twice or a hundred times a day. - See more at: http://coreparentingpdx.com/2013/dont-squash-my-emotions/#sthash.Q1y9w2Us.dpuf

Emotion begets emotion. When our friends are happy or sad, we feel happy or sad. Maybe we feel twinges of tears during tissue commercials, or serious anxiety while watching contentious political debates. Being in the room with an angry individual, especially a loud angry person with big aggressive movements, can (and should) cause anxiety or mirrored anger. And parenting is no different. We come face to face with our children’s mostly raw, unhinged, loud and pure emotion once, twice or a hundred times a day. - See more at: http://coreparentingpdx.com/2013/dont-squash-my-emotions/#sthash.Q1y9w2Us.dpuf

Emotion begets emotion. When our friends are happy or sad, we feel happy or sad. Maybe we feel twinges of tears during tissue commercials, or serious anxiety while watching contentious political debates. Being in the room with an angry individual, especially a loud angry person with big aggressive movements, can (and should) cause anxiety or mirrored anger. And parenting is no different. We come face to face with our children’s mostly raw, unhinged, loud and pure emotion once, twice or a hundred times a day. - See more at: http://coreparentingpdx.com/2013/dont-squash-my-emotions/#sthash.Q1y9w2Us.dpuf

Emotion begets emotion. When our friends are happy or sad, we feel happy or sad. Maybe we feel twinges of tears during tissue commercials, or serious anxiety while watching contentious political debates. Being in the room with an angry individual, especially a loud angry person with big aggressive movements, can (and should) cause anxiety or mirrored anger. And parenting is no different. We come face to face with our children’s mostly raw, unhinged, loud and pure emotion once, twice or a hundred times a day. - See more at: http://coreparentingpdx.com/2013/dont-squash-my-emotions/#sthash.Q1y9w2Us.dp

Today we celebrate our seventh anniversary, and this made me appreciate this Marriage Crucifix post all the more.  What a beautiful way to begin and foundation on which to build a marriage. 

From the "interesting" files:

• Concerns Rising Over Slow Appointment of Bishops.  We are currently without a Bishop, and after reading this I'm wondering if it will be awhile...
  
• And one from Huff Post that caught my eye after the pony debacle last week.  The Disturbing Evolution of My Little Pony.

In the recipe department, my hubby made ceviche today.  It was pretty good, he'd been wanting to try it for a long time.  That wasn't the exact recipe he used, but it was a good place to start.  He used silver corvina for the fish.   

And related to food, another one from Huff Post, From Oreos to Apple Slices was inspiring. IMHO... Cookies and snacks and such weren't quite such a bad thing 20-30 years ago when many snacks were homemade, and the processed foods weren't quite as full of the junk (dyes, preservatives, partially hydrogenated oils, fat and sugar replacements, etc.) as they are today.  What this mom did was really great.  Yes, serving healthy snacks takes more work, more prep time, more creativity and effort.  But who's to say it isn't worth it??

Check in with SimpleMama for more Food for Thought.

Five years

My dear husband and I celebrated five years of marriage this past month.  If I have learned one thing about marriage these past five years (and hopefully I've learned more than that), it is that the power of a Sacramental Marriage rooted in Christ is amazing.  Takes my breath away.  It's no wonder the divorce rate is what it is in our nation, because there is no way we would survive without Christ at the center of our marriage.  So here's to many more blessed years!  (And here are a few "flashback" pics I thought would be fun to share!)

my side of the family - July 2006

his side of the family - July 2006

Ten things about my better half and me

My friend Angie did this on her blog, and I thought it would be a fun one to "steal".  So without further ado, ten things about my honey and me...

1.  He is a better cook than I am.  I have gotten much more comfortable and adept in the kitchen since getting married, running a household, having children, etc.  But even so, I will definitely concede that he's got me beat when it comes to culinary skilz.  

2.  He also does essentially all of our grocery shopping and really enjoys it.  I am happy to concede this task!

3.  He waits to get dressed for Mass until I have picked out my clothes.  That way we "match" (but not in a matchy-matchy sort of way).  Isn't that super-sweet?

4.  We like to have "dates in" occasionally after the kids are in bed.  Sometimes we mix a drink and sit on the kitchen counters and talk, or in the chairs out on the deck if the weather is nice, sometimes we make a special food like crab legs or steamer clams.  We don't go out much, but this is a fun way for us to reconnect and do something special and out of the ordinary.

5.  I look at the people we were before we were married and the people we are now.  I'd say (and he agrees) that he has changed relatively little, whereas I have really changed a lot.  I'm not really sure what this says, just callin' 'em as I sees 'em.

6.  We used to make bets on how many times our dog would stop to pee when we went on walks.  True story.

7.  We both share the same primary temperament (melancholic), whereas his secondary is phlegmatic and mine is choleric.  It works.  (Check out this book if you've no idea what I'm talking about).

8.  Our special flower is the orchid.  He bought me an orchid plant our first Valentines, and has surprised me with them randomly (but rarely on a holiday) through the years.  We currently have three growing in our basement window, but none of them are currently blooming.

9.  The first summer we lived in our house I called him at work upon receiving our water bill after a particularly hot and dry month, swearing we had a "leak".  Duh.  The stuff that comes out of those sprinklers ain't free.  Ahhhhh, home ownership.

10.  I love him so much, he is constantly challenging me to be a better person...a better wife, mom, sister, daughter, etc.  The goal of marriage is to help your spouse get to heaven.  He is certainly doing this for me, and I pray I am able to do the same for him!!

Monica and Aaron -- October 2010